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Holding on October 19, 2010

Posted by daniel ayad in Behaviour.

It seems these days that some people continue to hold onto incidents of the past as if they are a lifetime occurrence. I mean, how often does one come to be remembered for an event that happened way back before you can remember? It’s amazing what people choose to remember and what people choose not to remember. What is even more puzzling is what a person has done in the past does not in any serious way necessarily indicate what is happening in the present. This lifetime generalisation, I think, is greatly misleading and a great error indeed.

I’m not saying that the past is not important. Most definitely it is critical to understanding how to react to the present and beyond. What I am saying is that I feel some people hold on to opinions and incidents as if the person is unchangeable and has never changed in his/her lifetime.

Let’s use an example to clear this up. A person makes a mistake, whatever the form, whether it be a sin, error, or just simply did something wrong. A person may hold onto this event, forgetting that he can and may very well change this type of mistake.  I dare say a person may love to remember his/her mistake, even ignoring the evidence that the person has corrected his ways for the better.

People change. Yes they may not change overnight, or even in a lifetime, but people can change. Christ is able to transform’s people’s life. People can go from rock bottom right up to a saint. The influence Christianity has on a person’s behaviour is powerful evidence of the existence of God. Ultimately people who change because of Jesus Christ become better moral people.

But why do some people focus on the past of unsuccessful incidents in a person’s life? Perhaps this is due to the feeling of superiority and pride. Some people may like to remember a person’s shortcomings at their expense to make them feel better. I am better than him/her because I don’t commit this mistake.

What is the benefit of remembering a person’s mistakes, shortcomings and weaknesses while ignoring the positive transformation that a person can make? Nothing, it only leads pride.

People may commit sin openly but repent in secret. Just because you saw somebody make a mistake today does not mean that you will not make that mistake tomorrow. For all you know the person who committed the mistake moved on and changed his error, while all you can do is dwell on his error without realising that you may be ignoring your own errors.

Some people generalise a person, unfortunately, just from a single incident. A person said this some time ago, or a person did this once upon a time. Therefore this means the person is ……. Generalisation, especially without objectivity, is very dangerous indeed.

People change

When will you let go and remember the good in a person, rather than generalising the bad?



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