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To scream or not to scream May 26, 2012

Posted by daniel ayad in Behaviour.

I’m so over the screaming of the world.

It seems like everywhere you turn there is somebody upset at something, and often the level of frustration reaches over boiling point into a scream.

Screaming is ultimately connected with a person’s heart, “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Mat 12:34). You can speak well or not so well, either way what you say comes from your heart.

I believe it is very important for every Christian not to lose his cool. There are times when it is extremely difficult no doubt to remain calm, but you cannot be an aggressive Christian. Being aggressive is offensive to the name of Christ. Christ was never aggressive in His life on earth. He certainly never rebuked without love.

There is a big difference between holy and unholy anger. Sometimes a holy anger happens for God’s sake, but it does not have nervousness and loss of temper .

James, the apostle, said about human anger “…for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:20.

Our saintly fathers have many sayings on rebuking anger.
St. Aughoris said, “The prayer of the angry is defiled and rejected incense and the offering of the angry is unaccepted.”

He also said: “Anger is an action of the insane… It makes humans like beasts… the eyes of the angry are evil, full of blood, while the face of the gentle is radiant and his eyes look with dignity.”

St. Ephram, the Syrian said, “The wrathful kills himself. He is a stranger to blame and has poor health because his body withers all the time. His spirit is sad and is hated by all.”

St. Isaiah said, “Anger desires to achieve what you want by force, without exercising humility.”

My experiences have taught me that it is better to try to remain calm at all times than to choose to exercise anger. You could scream at several things throughout one day, but ultimately in the end is it worth it? Is it worth losing your peace for something you cannot control no matter how hard you try?

Do not expect too much from people if you ask something from someone. Nobody is superhuman and can perform the way you want all the time. In the end every person is responsible for himself. If you get screamed at, think twice before screaming back. And if you’re doing the screaming reflect back if it was really worth it.

I recall a story once of a servant who finally brought a man to church after a 17 year absence. When the man came to church he worked for hours with a rekindled love. After the long efforts he decided to lay down in the church and take a rest on the chairs. Suddenly the priest walked in and saw the man lying on the church chairs. The priest yelled aggresively and said something to the effect of “why are you lying like this in church, who made you disrespect this place!”. The servant then said “the man didn’t come for 17 years, and I don’t know if he will come for another 17 years. I’m not worried for the man, I’m worried for the priest”. And just for the record the servant who told this story later became a priest.

Finally we refer once more to the Holy Bible, we will find that it says, “Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry. For anger rests in the bosom of fools.” (Ecc 7:9). It also says, “Make no friendship with an angry man. And with a furious man do not go.”



1. Telling someone off « Daniel Ayad's blog on Coptic Orthodoxy - July 13, 2012

[…] how to go about it. In an earlier post we discussed whether to scream or not to scream (found here: https://danielayad.wordpress.com/2012/05/26/to-scream-or-not-to-scream/#more-1306) and perhaps we can build upon this to explore the right to tell people […]

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